Harley Quinn
by PJOHoOHG
Summary: A story about Harley. There are very few of these.
1. A Visitor

**Chapter 1: A Visitor**

**Harley's POV**

I hate Arkham Asylum. I slapped a guard for hitting on me, so I'm strapped to the bed in one of the isolation cells. Figures, the one time I tell the truth, I get punished.

"Hey Red! You think I'll be able to get out of here anytime soon?!" I yelled.

"The Asylum, or just Isolation?" She replied through the wall.

"Isolation." I clarified.

"If you show good behavior." She answered.

"Even when I do, they still think I'm bein' bad." I sighed.

"That's because you do the wrong things for the right reasons." Ivy reasoned.

"Too bad I can't seem to do the right thing. Eh Red?" I responded.

"Oh well. If they can't accept that you're trying, it's their loss." She reasoned.

The door to my cell suddenly opened.

"Hey Quinn, you've actually got a visitor." Frank tried to hold back his laughter.

"Unless it's Mistuh J, Selina, or Red, I don't care." I rolled my eyes.

"I think you'll care." He smirked as he stepped aside to let whoever it was in.

Two familiar faces walked in slowly.

"What do you want? The money in my foreign bank account?" I laid my head back casually.

"Actually, we wanted to genuinely see you." Ma sat in the chair the doctors sit in.

"Yeah." Barry agreed.

"Says the deadbeat who wanted me in here, with the 'clown I shack up with', or 'wherever the hell I live'. And the mother who won't give me a second chance even though she gives them to everyone else." I countered.

"Why can you stand up to your family, but not the Joker?" Ivy wondered out loud.

"Who's that?" Barry was confused.

"Thess walls must be thin." Ma commented.

"Totally different situations Red." I talked into the wall.

"Whatever." She sighed.

"Attention residents of Arkham. Joker here. I'm leaving today, but I need a few friends. Will my thugs go get Harley, Croc, Catwoman, and Ivy? If you don't, I'm going to give you some of my Joker Gas and carve smiles on your faces." Mistuh J announced.

"Oh _hell_ no." Ivy said as a plant vine crashed through the wall between us.

"I thought they confiscated your plants?" I looked up at her.

"I still have underground plants." Ivy brushed the dust from the wall off of her.

"Can ya free me Red? I don't want to break out, beacause they'll make me a wanted criminal again. But my Puddin' will force me to leave even if I don't want to." I said.

"Finally, something rational involving the Joker came out of you." Ivy undid the straps on my bed.

"Come on Ma, Barry. The thugs'll kill ya for fun, and I don't think you'll want that." I prodded them along.

"We'll go underground with the plants. Joker can't follow us there." Ivy suggested.

"Your friend's hot." Barry stared at Ivy.

"Don't even think about it. Harley told me about how you're a lazy, deadbeat dad." Ivy glared at him.

Ma looked reluctant, but she and Barry eventually followed us underground. Not too long afterwards, we heard noises.

"No! I hate him! I will eat the Joker! Ahg!" Croc yelled from the other side of the sewer wall.

The buzz of his electric collar was very distinctive.

"Yeah, well Joker told us to come get you, and we have control of the shock collar." An inmate laughed.

"Not for long." Batman's voice was muffled by the wall.

"Let's go before he finds us and thinks we're escaping." Ivy suggested.

"Good idea Red." I agreed.

So we continued walking until we reached the Botanical Gardens.

"Ivy, are you there?" Selina whispered loudly.

"What do you want Selina?" Ivy let Selina see us.

"Batman told me to come find you. He figured you wouldn't go with the Joker either, so you'd protect me." Selina explained. "Why aren't you with him Harley?"

"Where did you get all these hot friends Harleen?" Barry questioned.

"I don't want to be a wanted criminal who stays here for multiple life sentences." I shrugged.

"Fair enough. Who are they?" Selina pointed at my family.

"My ma and brother. They were visiting before we heard Mistuh J's announcement." I answered.

"Oh Harley? Where is my harlequin?" Mistuh J laughed from somewhere close. "I assume Poison Ivy dragged you and Catwoman here?"

Ivy and Selina clamped their hands over my mouth. Then we turned to see two thugs holding Ma and Barry.

"Oh, there you are! Why didn't you wait for my boys?" Mistuh J asked. "Ooh, and who are these citizens I get to kill?"

"You can't kill them, that's my Ma and brother." I stated.

"Who says I can't kill them?" Mistuh J hit me.

"Please don't Puddin'." I begged.

"Too late." Mistuh J pointed his guns at them.

Just before he could shoot them, I jumped in front of them. But instead of feeling bullets go through me, I fell to the ground. Batman was on top of Mistuh J and landed one final punch before Mistuh J went unconscious. Robin and Nightwing were holding the thugs who had my family. Ma and Barry were sitting a few feet away from where they were.

"Are you okay Harley?" Ivy helped me up.

"I'm fine Red." I brushed myself off.

"Are you sure? That was a pretty close call." Selina seemed concerned.

"I'm fine." I waved her off.

"Tie those thugs up and then drag the Joker to Gordon. He's waiting near the entrance." Batman ordered.

"Okay." Nightwing agreed.

"Whatever you say." Robin smirked.

Selina went up to Batman and kissed him. Robin and Nightwing snorted on their way out.

"Hello Selina." Batman caught his breath.

"Hi Br-Batman." Selina stumbled over her words.

"I have to go." Batman walked out of the room.

Ivy sprayed a toxin near Selina. "Who is Batman?"

"Br-" Selina started. "Anyone who wears the cowl. Don't even get me started on all the Robins."

"Then how do you know if it's the Batman you love?" I questioned.

"I've memorized mine." Selina answered.

"Harleen, did you just save us from that clown freak?" Barry stared in awe.

"I thought you loved him?" Ma stared at me.

"I did, and I do. And he's not a freak." I sighed.

Then I walked out to see what Gordon was going to do to Mistuh J.


	2. Judgement

**Chapter 2: Judgement**

**Harley's POV**

I walked outside and saw Mistuh J being loaded into a GCPD van.

"This game is starting to get old Batman. You put me in jail, I escape, you put me in jail again, I escape again. Doesn't it get tedious?" Mistuh J laughed.

"As long as you go back to jail, no." Batman countered.

Mistuh J cackled as they shut the van doors and drove away.

"Are you out of your mind?!" Gordon was talking to Batman about something.

"I think it would be good for her. Better than putting her into the therapy that she knows how to contradict." Batman argued.

"It would be nice to get rid of her." Sharp agreed. "But what of Poison Ivy and Catwoman?"

"I'll take care of Selina, and I don't know about Ivy. She can switch alliances so easily. The only ones that never change are her loyalties to Harley and her plants." Batman shrugged.

I turned and saw that Ivy was gone. "She left without me?!"

Batman, Gordon, and Sharp turned to see that Ivy was missing. There was a note attached to a plant. It read:

_"Harley, Sorry to leave you, but you said you didn't want to be a wanted criminal. See you when I can. Love, Red."_

"She signed it Red! I got her to call herself Red!" I cheered.

Selina tried to cover up her smirk. "She always did have a soft spot for you Harley."

Batman looked like he was smirking a little too. "Alright. Harley, we've decided that we don't want you in the Asylum anymore. We want to put you on a sort of probation. But for this to work, you'll need to live with your family."

"WHAT?!" I shrieked.

"Right now, they seem to be the only people you put above yourself and the Joker. So I think it will be good for you to spend some time with them." Batman elaborated.

"We'll take her." Ma interjected.

"Yeah." Barry added.

"It's only until we can determine if you're ready to live by yourself. We'll give you a list of things that will help us make that decision." Gordon explained.

"At least you'd legally be out of the Asylum." Selina shrugged.

I eventually consented to the agreement. So I woke up the next day in my childhood bed. It's funny how even as a kid, I liked red and black.

"Aunt Harley?" I heard the voice of a little girl.

My bedroom door opened and my niece and nephew walked in.

"Jenny? Nicky? What are you two doing here?" I yawned.

"We're stayig with Daddy and Grandma." Nicky answered.

"I meant why are you in my room?" I smiled.

"Because we don't like sleeping on the couch." Jenny stated.

"Why are you sleeping on the couch?" I frowned.

"Because there's nowhere else to sleep." Nicky said.

_Barry didn't give them somewhere to sleep?! What's wrong with him?!_ I thought about the situation for a moment.

"How about you two sleep in here from now on? I'll sleep on the couch." I told them.

"Really?" Jenny asked.

"Duh, I ain't lettin' two kids sleep on a couch. Just sleep here." I got up to leave the room.

They both smiled and raced for my bed.

"Thanks Aunt Harley!" Nicky exclaimed.

"Of course." I muttered on my way out.

I plopped on the couch next to Barry as he played Guitar Hero. He makes his kids sleep here, then he steals it in the morning for his stupid game.

"How'd ya sleep Harleen?" Barry asked as he played a chord.

It's been a while since anyone called me Harleen.

"Well enough. I think the question is, how did your kids sleep?" I countered.

"How should I know?" Barry shrugged.

"Maybe because you stole their 'bed' for your game." I suggested.

"Are you sayin' somethin'?" He questioned as he finished the level.

"You're still a deadbeat dad." I stated plainly.

"At least I have them here. Besides, you're a criminal who likes gettin' abused by her 'Mistuh J'." He snorted.

"And I also risked death to save your lazy ass." I was starting to get angry.

I decided to leave instead of argue further. When I looked back, Barry had a guilty look on his face. I walked into the kitchen where Ma had breakfast set up.

"It looks nice Ma." I complimented. "Smells great too."

It was waffles with chocolate chips in them.

"Thank you Harleen." Ma said. "Barry! Get the kids, it's time for breakfast!"

"I don't know where they are!" Barry shouted.

"My room!" I yelled.

I heard him get up, and a few minutes later, the kids were in the kitchen. Their eyes got big at the chocolate chip waffles. We all sat down and started to eat.

"So Harleen, I heard you got pet hyenas." Barry talked with his mouth full.

"Yeah, their outside now." I shrugged.

"They are?" Ma got wide eyed.

"Yeah, Mistuh J's not outta prison, and even when he is, I take care of 'em. Plus, Red gets sick of 'em, so she always sends 'em back to me as soon as possible." I shrugged again.

"Can we see?!" Jenny and nicky begged.

"Sure. Their harmless unless I tell 'em to do somethin'." I grinned.

"And how do we know we can trust you?" Barry asked.

"Because if I wanted ya hurt, I wouldn't've saved ya yesterday." I rolled my eyes.

I took the kids outside and showed them Bud and Lou.

"This is Bud and Lou." I introduced. "Play nice boys."

Bud and Lou immediately stopped growling and rubbed against the kids.

"They're so cute!" Jenny exclaimed.

"I think they like us." Nicky grinned.

"They like kids." I smiled.

I rubbed Bud and Lou's heads. They ran off and the kids chased them. They were playing. After the kids caught them, Bud and Lou started cackling.

"Are they infected with Joker Gas?" Barry asked.

"No, hyenas have a very distinct laugh. That's why Mistuh J wanted them." I watched Bud and Lou lick the kids.

"That's creepy." Barry commented.

I suddenly noticed a rose in a pot with a note attached. I picked up the rose and the note. It read:

_"Harley, I miss you and hope to see you soon. Maybe you can visit me in our old apartment. I'm not trying to get you to live with me, I just want a visit. Good luck. Love, Red."_

I smiled fondly. She's my only real friend.

"Hey Ma, I'm gonna go visit a friend of mine today." I told her.

"What kind of friend?" Ma frowned.

"She's not in jail, and she's my best friend." I wasn't technically lying.

"Can we go?" The kids asked.

"No. She don't mind kids, but I think she'd prefer just me." I said. "Besides, you guys can take care of Bud and Lou."

I waved goodbye to everybody and headed off to see Ivy on my bike. I stopped in front of our old apartment. I used my key to get in and looked for Ivy.

"Red, you there?!" I whispered loudly.

"You're motorcycle looks good. They must have taken care of it while you were in prison." Ivy was sitting on the couch.

"I guess. So, you got anythin' special to do with me?" I hoped.

She gave me a hug and a rose. "How are you?"

"I've only been out for a day, so I don't really know." I shrugged.

"Then tell me about what's happened since you got out." Ivy suggested.

I described everything, including how the kids were sleeping on the couch, so I gave them my room.

"Men are pigs. It was nice of you to give them your room though. And they still call you Harleen?" Ivy made conversation.

"I haven't protested to it. And it was the name I was born with." I shrugged.

"I personally think that Harleen Quinzel was a good doctor name, but Harley Quinn sounds better with your personality." Ivy smiled.

"They kids call me Harley." I said.

"Children prefer less formal names." Ivy smirked.

"They also like Bud and Lou." I told her.

"Bud and Lou are nice to kids." Ivy shrugged. "So you're okay?"

"I think so. But it's nice to visit you." I sighed.

"You can always visit me, you just can't live with me." Ivy looked sad. "Do you want to see something funny I found before you leave?"

She showed me a video called Bat Romance by The Gotham City Sirens.

"As if we have feelings for the Bat!" I scoffed.

"We don't, but Selina does. Besides, it was funny." Ivy laughed.

"Yeah." I agreed.

"I'll miss living with you Harley." Ivy said a little more seriously.

"I'll miss you too Red." I admitted.

She gave me a hug before I left.

"Oh, and Harley!" Ivy called.

I turned to see what she wanted. She blew me one of her kisses. I smiled broadly as I headed for my bike.


	3. Coney Island

**Chapter 3: Coney Island**

**Harley's POV**

I woke up when I heard Barry playing Guitar Hero. Instead of complaining, I walked into the kitchen and made cereal for breakfast. I was spooning some into my mouth as Ma walked in.

"Mornin' Ma." I talked with my mouth full.

"Morning Harleen." She grabbed some cereal too.

"Hi Aunt Harley." The kids walked in.

I poured them some cereal. "How'd ya guys sleep?"

"Great." Jenny answered.

"Better than the couch." Nicky agreed.

"What do you two want to do today?" I asked.

They shrugged. I thought about what we could do.

"How about we go to Coney Island? Do you two have swimsuits?" I suggested.

They shook their heads.

"Well, we'll buy some on the way there." I smiled.

"Okay." They left to go get dressed.

An hour later, we were driving in Ma's car to Coney Island. We stopped at a place where they were selling swimsuits, and I told the kids to pick out whatever they wanted. Nicky picked out some Superman swim trunks, and Jenny picked out a Batman swimsuit.

"Nice choices." I smirked.

We went up to the cashier to pay for them.

"Hello, how can I- Harley Quinn!" The man yelled.

"For Pete's sake, I'm legally buying swimsuits for my niece and nephew. I guarantee, if you call Bats or Gordon, they'll tell you that I'm legal." I promised.

He started calling someone. "Commissioner Gordon? I have Harley Quinn in my shop... No, she hasn't stolen anything yet... Well she's a criminal!... She what?..."

"Believe me now?" I rolled my eyes.

"He wants to talk to you." He gave me the phone.

"Hello?" I said.

"Are you trying to steal something?" Gordon asked.

"No, I'm buying swimsuits for my niece and nephew. We're going to Coney Island." I told him.

"Give the phone to the cashier." Gordon sighed.

I handed the phone to the cashier.

"Sir? Of course sir... I understand." He hung up the phone.

I handed him the money for the swimsuits and we left. Once we got to Coney island, I took them to the museum. I know it doesn't sound cool, but the 3-D model of the old Luna Park was interesting. Definately better than Penguin's museum. Then we went on some of the rides. The best one was the ferris wheel.

"This is so cool!" Nicky said at the top of the ferris wheel.

"It's awesome!" Jenny agreed.

"I know, right?" I squealed.

Then we went to the beach. The kids were swimming and I was tanning. I haven't been tan since I teamed up with Mistuh J. Then I spotted something odd. Bruce Wayne was sitting with Selina a few yards away. She kissed him and talked to him.

"I rarely get a day off." Bruce said.

"Just let Dick, Jason, Damian, and Tim handle it. Besides, even Barbara said you should take a day off. And Alfred definitely agreed." Selina sighed.

"I know, it's just hard when you're so used to something." Bruce smiled.

"How about you get used to something else?" Selina smirked as she kissed him.

I thought she liked the Bat?

"Batman doesn't always have to be your top priority." Selina said.

"It does when we're the same person." Bruce sighed.

My jaw dropped. Did Bruce Wayne just say he was Batman?!

"Aunt Harley!" Jenny called.

"We found a starfish!" Nicky laughed.

Bruce and Selina turned their heads to see me. Bruce looked confused, and Selina looked worried. Bruce started to smile when he saw the kids run up to me though. Selina still looked worried.

"That's cool. Can I see?" I tried to focus on the starfish.

They handed me the starfish and I giggled as it stuck to me.

"Hey Harley?" Bruce walked up to me.

"Yes Mistuh Wayne?" I looked up at him.

"You can call me Bruce. And I was thinking, you just got out of the Asylum, and there probably aren't a lot of people hiring ex-criminals. So would you like to come work for me?" Bruce asked.

"I don't know what kind of work you'd gave me doing, and I'm required to live with my family." I said.

"It would be easy work. Besides, even if I needed hard work done, you have a genius IQ level. And you can still live with your family. I'd even send someone to pick you up if you needed it." Bruce smiled.

"Why are ya bein' so nice to me?" I questioned.

"Because you deserve it. Besides, it will keep you busy and according to Gordon, it would keep you away from the Joker." He shrugged.

"It's a smart idea Harley. And I heard Gordon say that getting a legal job was on the list of things that would get you off probation." Selina suggested.

I considered it for a moment. "What kind of work?"

"Well, if you don't want to do any of the jobs in the divisions that involve research and things like that, you can go into the Wayne Entertainment division. It has partnerships with a few modeling agencies." Bruce suggested.

"You think I could be a model?" My eyes grew wide.

"Anyone can be a model. You just have to know the right people. Even some of the prettiest models don't get jobs because their jobs were taken by people who know people. Luckily, you'll be pretty _and_ know the right people." Bruce reasoned.

I thoughf for a moment. "Okay. I guess I can try."

"See you later Harley. Come by my office when you're ready to start. But not today, because I'm having a day off." Bruce smiled as he walked away.

"Good luck Harley." Selina said as she walked to follow Bruce.

Bruce Wayne is Batman, and he wants to make me a model? What crazy world am I living in?

"Let's go see the fireworks!" Nicky suggested.

"Yeah!" Jenny agreed.

So we went further down the beach and watched the fireworks get set off.

"Is it a special occasion?" I asked.

"No, they do this every friday during the summer." Nicky explained. "Thanks for bringing us here."

"Yeah, this has been great." Jenny grinned.

I smiled as the fireworks went off. I could get used to this.

**(A/N: Wayne Entertainment really does work with modeling agencies in the comics. So don't judge me.)**


	4. A New Job

**Chapter 4: A New Job**

**Harley's POV**

When I woke up the next morning, Barry was reading the paper instead of playing Guitar Hero.

"Looks like one of your hot friends made the paper." Barry handed it to me.

The headline said _POISON IVY STRIKES AGAIN._ After reading it over, I discovered that she had broken into a plant museum to steal a rare form of flower.

"To be fair, she's the one who discovered it in the Amazonian Rain Forest. They just confiscated it from her possession when they arrested her because they assumed it was deadly. And all she wants is to get it taken off the endangered species list by making more of them." I shrugged.

Barry stared at me for a moment. "So that justifies it?"

"Yes. The same way you were justified in breaking into the principal's office to steal back your phone." I said.

Barry turned red. "That was different."

"How so? You both had your property stolen by an authoritative figure for no reason, so you both stole it back." I countered.

He turned red and kept his mouth shut. I got up and headed for the kitchen. I ate a bowl of cereal and got ready to go to work. I was getting dressed and putting on my makeup in the bathroom. I had on a red shirt and black jeans. As I put my makeup on, I realized that I didn't need to make myself look like a harlequin, so I put it on the same way I did in high school. As I walked out of the bathroom, Barry stared at me with a dropped jaw.

"What?" I asked.

"You got a hot date or somethin'?" He managed to get out.

"No, I'm goin' to work." I said.

I walked out to my bike and rode off to Wayne Enterprises. Based on what I remember from Mistuh J taking him hostage, I figured Bruce's office was still on the top floor. I walked to the reception desk to make sure I was supposed to go up.

"Hi, I'm-" I started.

"Harley Quinn. Mr. Wayne notified us you would be coming. Just go straight to the top floor and look for the room with a great view." The receptionist said.

I walked to the elevator and pushed the button for the top floor. As soon as I walked out of the elevator, everyone in tbe room stared at me. I walked into Bruce's office to see him kissing Selina.

"Oh, hi Harley." Bruce pulled away and turned red.

Selina was redder than Ivy's hair and left the room without saying a word.

"Hi Mistuh Wayne." I smiled.

"Before we go any further, what did you hear when I was talikng to Selina yesterday?" He got serious again.

"That you're Batman. But I haven't told anybody and don't plan to." I insisted.

"And what if the Joker were to pry it out of you?" He asked.

"I don't wanna ruin my new life." I sighed.

"I'll trust you, for now. But if I feel that you're going to betray me, I'll have the JLA wipe your memory." Bruce decided. "Now, what kind of modeling do you want to do?"

"Nothing to do with underwear." I told him.

"Fair enough." He agreed. "How about you work with Paul Dini? I think you'd like his designs."

Bruce took me into the entertainment division and introduced me to Paul Dini and his advisor Bruce Timm.

"Hey! I've bought some of your designs before!" I realized.

"Then hopefully you'll like our designs." Paul smiled.

"Yeah, it's usually better if the model likes her clothes." Bruce Timm agreed.

"I'll just leave you to collaborate." Bruce (Wayne) walked away.

"Your jester costume had a pretty good style, but we should try something different." Paul suggested.

"Sounds good." Bruce agreed as he brought out some designs.

I looked them over and picked out an outfit I liked.

"I like the outfit labeled _Mourning Harley,_ but without the veil. Based on the labels, I'm guessing you've wanted to use me as a model for a while?" I asked.

"Not specifically as a model, but you're jester costume inspired some of my designs, so I named them after you." Paul admitted.

"Having you as a model is a pretty big deal." Bruce smiled.

"Do I need to wear the veil?" I wondered.

"We'll make it optional." Paul shrugged.

"But fashion critics prefer the accessories." Bruce said.

"Okay. I also like the _Arkham City Harley_ design." I told them. "Can I do my own makeup on these?"

"You made yourself look pretty good today, so sure. Besides, these don't require specific makeup, I just drew it in for added effect." Paul answered.

"And we have other designs that you might like that aren't based on your outfits." Bruce added.

They showed me a bunch of other designs that I liked and told me when they'd have the outfits ready to wear, as well as when there would be photo shoots and runway shows. It's a lot to absorb. I rode my bike home and noticed cop cars outside. F they want to question me about Ivy, I'm not saying anything. I walked in to see them questioning my family.

"I swear, we haven't even remotely heard about him since Harley visited him a few months ago." Barry groaned.

"And I don't want to." Ma agreed.

"Who?" I asked as I shut the door.

"Miss Quinn, you're father recently escaped from prison, and we'd like to know if you've seen him." Officer Branden from the GCPD explained.

"I haven't heard from that low life since I visited him in jail a few months ago." I sighed. "He busted out?"

"Yes, and since he's connected to you, the GCPD have been asked to investigate. But I don't think you helped him break out. Bruce Wayne says you started working at Wayne Enterprises today, which gives you an alibi for the time of the breakout." Gordon elaborated.

"I haven't seen him, and I don't wanna. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to check on my pets." I headed for the back door.

I checked on Bud and Lou while Gordon and Branden followed me.

"Did you two have a good day?" I asked in baby talk.

In answer, Bud and Lou nuzzled against me.

"She has hyenas?" Branden stared at me.

"Bud and Lou. And hyenas cackle, which is ideal for the Joker." Gordon shrugged.

I walked back inside with Branden and Gordon.

"Where are Jenny and Nicky?" I asked Barry.

"In your room." Barry answered.

I walked upstairs and saw the kids watching TV in my room.

"Watcha watchin'?" I asked.

"The news." Jenny answered.

"Isn't she your friend?" Nicky asked.

I looked at the TV and saw Ivy fighting Mistuh J.

"Stop! My plants!" Ivy shrieked.

Mistuh J was setting her plants on fire. "Sorry dear, but unless you tell me where Harley is..."

"I don't know where she is! She visits, but not much, and she'll visit less when she hears about this! Please stop!" Ivy begged desperately.

"Red! Why isn't anyone helpin' her?!" I exclaimed.

"It looks like the Joker is threatening Poison Ivy for information on Harley Quinn." Vicki Vale reported.

"And we thought she was just his abuse toy." Jack Ryder agreed.

My heart sunk. "Zatanna! I'm callin' in that favor!"

Seconds later, Zatanna could be seen in the background, manipulating Mistuh J's mind.

"I'd like to turn myself in boys." Mistuh J let them handcuff him.

Then Zatanna used her powers to make water fall on Ivy's burning plants.

"We're even now Harley." Zatanna disappeared.

"Harley?" Ivy looked confused. "Thank you."

"You're still a wanted criminal." Batman swooped in.

"Catch me if you can." Ivy used her plants to go underground.

"Aren't you going after her?" Selina appeared as Catwoman.

"It's not worth it. Besides, we should let her enjoy the fact that her plants aren't dead. At least for today." Batman answered.

"Phew." I sat down on my bed.


	5. Modeling

**Chapter 5: Modeling**

**Harley's POV**

I woke up and Barry wasn't on the couch for once. I yawned as I walked into the kitchen. Ma was making pancakes.

"Where's Barry, Ma?" I asked as I sat down.

"He has a job interview today." Ma stated simply.

"What?" I was confused.

"Apparently, he was inspired by you getting a job. He figures that since you're an ex-criminal and you got a job, he can get one too." She shrugged.

I finished breakfast and headed to Wayne Enterprises. I saw Barry shaking hands with Bruce Wayne.

"Whatcha doin' here Barry?" I questioned.

"Mistuh Wayne gave me a job in the entertainment division. My dreams of stardom are finally realized!" Barry exclaimed.

"He asked if I'd give him a job, so I did. You mentioned to Selina that you wished he'd get a job, right?" Bruce smiled.

"Ya. This is perfect." I smiled back.

I was even bold enough to give him a hug. When I let go, Bruce smirked, and Barry looked confused.

"Well, I'm going to take Barry to his part of the entertainment division. See you later Harley." Bruce walked off with Barry.

I smiled and headed to the modeling division. Paul Dini and Bruce Timm were discussing something.

"This is definitely perfect timing." Paul said.

"It's been ready to go for a while." Bruce agreed.

"Whatcha guys talkin' about?" I asked.

"Two of your outfits are ready, and Mr. Wayne suggested doing your photo shoot today. When the others are ready, we'll do photo shoots for them too." Paul explained.

"_Mourning Harley_ and _Arkham City Harley _are ready." Bruce elaborated. "Do you have your giant hammer?"

"It's in a secret compartment in my bike. Why?" I asked.

"We want it to be an accessory to your outfits during the photo shoot." Paul answered.

"Are you okay with that?" Bruce checked.

"Perfectly okay." I agreed.

I got the hammer out of my bike and brought it inside.

"Perfect. Now change into Arkham City Harley. We're ready to start the photo shoot." Paul said.

I handed the hammer to Bruce as I took the outfit I was changing into. After I changed, I stared at myself in the mirror. Then I went out to the photo shoot and everyone stared.

"Perfect." Paul smiled.

"Hot." Bruce grinned.

"I like it." A woman agreed. "I'm your photographer, Arleen."

"Harley." I shook her hand.

"Just pick up your hammer, strike a few poses, and we'll move on to the other outfit." Arleen smiled.

I did a few different poses in front of a green screen. Arleen took a lot of pictures of each pose.

"What's the green screen for?" I wondered.

"So that we can put in whatever background we want." Arleen explained. "Go get changed and we'll take the rest of the photos."

I changed into my Mourning Harley outfit, including the veil. We did half the photos with the veil, and the other half without. Either way, Paul, Bruce, and Arleen told me to make myself look menacing while I was in this outfit.

"Maybe we'll have to title the fashion line, _Harley Quinn's Revenge_. We'll design some other outfits to go with the theme, then it will be as if you're showing the Joker what he's missing and prove how you've changed to everyone else." Paul suggested.

"Perfect!" Bruce agreed.

"Good luck Harley." Arleen said as she left.

I was excited about this fashion line. I couldn't wait to see the other outfits. After work, I found Ivy and told her about everything.

"That's great." She said. "I hope you have luck with it."

"Me too, Red." I said.

"And thank you for calling in a favor with Zatanna to help me. What did you do for her that made her owe you a favor?" Ivy asked.

"It was nothin'. And I helped her escape from Selina when they were fighting over Bats." I said.

"Harley, I'm going to say something I've never saod before, and I don't want it to leave this room. I love you like a little sister. And I hope you do better with your life now that you're not a criminal." Ivy said.

"Oh Red." I hugged her as I started to cry. "I've been waitin' to hear you say that. And I got you to call yourself Red when you write me notes!"

"I'll keep the Joker away from you as long as I can." Ivy promised.

"You're the second person I hugged today." I mentioned.

"Who's the first?" Ivy asked.

"Bruce Wayne. He gave my deadbeat brother a job in the entertainment division of Wayne Enterprises." I said.

"Do you... have feelings for Bruce?" Ivy dared to ask.

"No. I still don't have feelings for anyone but Mistuh J. And Deadshot..." I insisted.

"Deadshot?" Ivy looked confused.

"Back when I was in the Suicide Squad. But that's not the point. Bruce's girlfriend is an old friend of mine, and she told me a secret about him that makes him unattractive as a boyfriend." I said.

Which is the fact that we've gone into combat before over Mistuh J's well being.

"Okay then. But you still like him as a person?" Ivy questioned.

"Yeah, he's unattractive as a boyfriend because he works too much." That wasn't a lie.

"Alright. I guess I'll see you later Harley." Ivy stood to open the door.

"Yeah. Later Red." I smiled.

She hugged me on my way out. When I got home, I found Ma reading something.

"Whatcha readin' Ma?" I asked.

"Commissioner Gordon sent that list of things that would get you off probation." Ma answered.

She handed me the list and I read it over. It said:

**Get a LEGAL job. **Check. **Spend time with family.** Check. **Don't visit criminal friends.** Forget that. **Avoid the Joker. **I don't know. **Find a love interest who's good for you. **Um...

I skimmed the rest of the list, but it basically said to keep my nose clean. Easy enough.

**(A/N: Seriously? Five chapters in two days and not one review? The most I've gotten was a PM. Please review.)**


	6. Fame VS Infamy

**Chapter 6: Fame VS Infamy**

**Harley's POV**

I woke up and Barry was once again not on the couch. I went into the kitchen for breakfast. Ma made french toast.

"Barry's new job got an early schedule?" I yawned.

"Basically." Ma responded.

As I arrived at work on my bike, I saw myself on the building. There were poster in quite a few of the windows with the pictures of me from the photo shoot. The posters all read _HARLEY QUINN'S REVENGE Fashion Line._ There was even a billboard with me on it. That was quick. People stared at me as they passed by. I went inside and found Jenny and Nicky playing with Bruce Wayne.

"What're ya guys doin' here?" I asked.

"Daddy brought us to work." Jenny answered.

"But he couldn't take us with him in the studio." Nicky specified.

"I found them playing with the receptionist." Bruce said.

"Can you two stay here and behave for the receptionist? And will you show me where Barry works, Bruce?" I asked.

"Okay." The kids agreed.

"Alright." Bruce started walking.

We walked until we found the studio where Barry was playing a real guitar. He wasn't bad, but he wasn't exactly star material either.

"Can we stop recording?" Bruce whispered to the guy who was controlling the sound effects.

"Of course Sir." The guy said.

I walked into the recording booth.

"Hey, I'm recording Harley." Barry protested.

"As of a second ago, you're not." I said. "Why would you bring the kids to work, and then leave them with the receptionist?"

"It's not my fault I can't bring 'em in here." Barry waved it off. "Now can you leave so I can record?"

I can't believe him! I stomped out of the studio and sat down on a bench outside.

"You okay?" Bruce sat next to me.

"He may not be lazy anymore, but he's still a deadbeat." I sighed.

"I think Paul and Bruce are still trying to design your other outfits, so you could probably take the kids to work today." Bruce suggested.

"Maybe. Thanks for caring." I hugged him.

"I like kids. And I don't like the idea of them not having parents." He said.

He walked back into Wayne Enterprises. If I remember correctly, his parents died when he was younger because of some criminal. It explains a lot. I walked back inside and found the kids.

"How about you guys come to work with me?" I smiled.

"Yes!" They agreed.

I took them to see Paul and Bruce.

"They're cute kids." Paul complimented.

"Are they yours?" Bruce asked.

"No, their my brother's." I giggled.

"Well, we're still trying to finish making the clothes look like the design, so you have somewhat of a free day." Paul said.

"Yeah, and hopefully we'll have some done by tomorrow." Bruce agreed.

As they got to work with the sketches, I decided the kids needed to do something fun.

"How about I do Jenny's makeup, and pick out some kid-sized outfits for Nicky?" I suggested.

"Okay." They agreed.

So I sat Jenny down in a chair and pulled out my makeup. I gave her a very light amount of blush, decided against the eyeshadow, and gave her lip gloss instead of lipstick. Then I gave her some eyeliner, a little mascara, and held up a mirror for her to look.

"This is so cool Aunt Harley!" Jenny squealed.

I smiled at my work.

"Where did you learn to do makeup?" She asked.

"Your Grandma showed me in high school." I smiled. "And all these years of dressin' like a harlequin gave me some extra practice."

"Can we get to my outfits now?" Nicky asked.

"Yeah, we can put you both in outfits." I giggled.

I started looking through some of the kids outfits that were based on Paul and Bruce's fashion designs. There's a lot of red and black, so they must've really liked my style. First, I gave them each red shirts and black jeans.

"You guys look so cute!" I complimented as they strutted their stuff.

Then I gave them black shirts and red jeans.

"Not bad guys! I'd be proud to have you as sidekicks." I said.

They laughed the whole time. Next, we mixed red shirts with red jeans.

"Maybe there is such a thing as too much red." I pondered.

After that, we mixed black shirts with black jeans.

"Maybe it's a little dark for you guys. I mean, it looks nice, but black is more of Batman and Catwoman's styles." I looked at the outfits.

They laughed really hard.

"What colors do you guys like?" I asked.

We started looking at outfits with colors like blue, pink, purple, and orange. They even chose green.

"I don't know about the purple, orange, and green." I commented.

I suddenly had a flash of Mistuh J in his suit. They nodded their heads in agreement. I had taken pictures of all the outfits, and we were looking them over and laughing.

"Hey Harley, you're being mentioned on the news." Paul said.

"Come look." Bruce agreed.

We looked at the TV that Paul and Bruce were watching, and I really was being mentioned.

"We've gotten reports today that Harley Quinn is the new face of one of the modeling companies supported by Wayne Enterprises. The fashion line is called _HARLEY QUINN'S REVENGE_. Has she changed her criminal ways, or is she just pretending?" Vicki Vale reported.

"Yeah, I mean who would choose an 'ex'-criminal to be the face of a modeling company? And she's been the Joker's abuse toy for years. I'm thinking that she's just using Bruce Wayne to her advantage. I mean, look at this picture of them." Jack Ryder scoffed.

An image of when I hugged Bruce earlier today popped up on the screen.

"I don't know Jack, she seems pretty genuine according to the rumors I'm hearing. And besides, Bruce Wayne is already dating Selina Kyle aka Catwoman." Vicki seemed to be defending me.

"Which just proves he has a taste for criminals. I heard he once dated Pamela Isley aka Poison Ivy." Jack snorted boldly.

"Bruce wasn't dating her Jack. And besides, he's not stupid enough to get taken advantage of." Vicki sighed.

"Says one of his many ex-girlfriends." Jack muttered.

Vicki tried to hit him and the news cut to the weather. I can't believe their portraying my changes as a facade.

"I think you've changed Aunt Harley." Jenny spoke up.

"Yeah." Nicky agreed.

"Don't worry, Jack can just be a jerk sometimes." Paul put his hand on my shoulder.

"Yeah, we should know." Bruce snorted.

It still hurt, especially considering how manu Gotham citizens are inclined to believe Jack. Hopefully, the people who are inclined to believe Vicki can combat that.

"Hey Harley, I just heard the news. I'm getting people to combat these rumors right now." Bruce (Wayne) walked in.

"Don't worry, nobody will believe that you're using Bruce." Selina followed him in. "They're at least semi-smart enough to understand the truth."

It doesn't hurt any less though.


	7. Something New

**Chapter 7: Something New**

**Harley's POV**

I got up the next morning and headed for the kitchen. I poured a bowl of cereal and ate it before gettimg dressed and going out to my motor cycle.

"Be good boys." I petted Bud and Lou.

They cackled affectionately. I rode off to work and stopped in front of Wayne Enterprises. I then went to see Paul and Bruce.

"Hey Harley, we have some new designs ready for you to try on." Paul sounded excited.

"I think you'll like these for everyday wear." Bruce grinned.

They gave me a pair of shorts that looked like they were pants, then someone cut them into shorts, and it went with a short sleeved shirt that was red and black striped.

"We don't need the hammer today, so if you'll just stand in front of the green screen." Arleen directed me.

I briefly wondered what background they would choose. They had what used to be Arkham City in the background last time.

"I believe you have pet hyenas, correct?" Arleen asked.

"Yeah, why?" I was confused.

Bud and Lou suddenly followed Bruce (Wayne) into the room. They were snarling at him. I walked over and knelt by them.

"I know who he is, but he's on our side." I whispered.

They immediately got quiet.

"Why do you want my hyenas here?" I questioned.

"Because with the background we're using, it will look nice." Bruce (Timm) answered.

Bruce (Wayne) left with a smile.

"Trust us, it will look good." Paul agreed.

"Just pose with the hyenas. What are their names again?" Arleen asked.

"Bud and Lou." I told her.

Paul wrote something down. Bruce just sat there waiting for the pictures. I, posed in quite a few pictures with Bud and Lou. Then they put me in the other outfit which consisted of a red and black striped long sleeved shirt, and a pair of normal jeans. I once again posed with Bud and Lou. I tried on different variations of red and black casual clothing that day and posed with Bud and Lou in every picture.

"Perfect." Arleen smiled.

"You looked great." Paul complimented.

"And hot." Bruce grinned.

After the photo shoot, I was going to take Bud and Lou home, but I saw something familiar. Or should I say _someone_.

"Marty? Marty Slacker?" I went up behind him.

"Harley?" He turned to look at me.

He was Mistuh J's technical genius. It looked like he had shaved his goatee and lost a little weight, but he was definitely Marty.

"What've you been up to? I thought you were in prison?" I asked.

"I got let out on good behavior. They also considered it a 'first time offense'. What about you?" He made conversation.

"I recently got let out on probation because of a deal." I shrugged. "And I got a modeling job in Wayne Entertainment."

"Well, you're definitely pretty enough for it. I work as a programmer at Wayne Tech." Marty said.

I blushed at the compliment. And for an intelligent superhero, Bruce Wayne sure does employ a lot of villains and ex-cons.

"That's cool. I gotta get Bud and Lou home, but it was nice seein' ya Marty." I started to walk away.

"Wait a second Harley." Marty grabbed my arm.

"What?" I turned to look at him.

"Do you think... you'd like to go to dinner with me tonight?" Marty asked boldly. "Catch up on what's happened since we last saw each other?"

I thought for a moment. It was strange to be asked out by anyone. Especially someone who wasn't my Puddin'.

"Okay Marty. Meet here at 6:00 tonight?" I suggested.

"Perfect." He agreed.

I took Bud and Lou home before heading to see Ivy.

"So you were asked on a date by one of the Joker's old lackeys?" Ivy summed it up.

"Basically." I agreed.

"Well, this is an improvement on the Joker himself." Ivy said.

"He is nice and good lookin', Red. But I don't know if I like him." I sighed.

"That's the point of dating. To figure it out." Ivy rolled her eyes.

"So I should just try it to see if I like him then?" I checked.

"Yes. Besides, isn't one of the requirements on your list of ways to get off probation that you have to find a GOOD love interest?" Ivy reasoned.

"I guess so. So I'll try." I said.

"Good. And it's 4:00, so you should probably get ready for your date." Ivy smiled.

I went home and got ready. I put on a red shirt and a pair of black jeans.

"Where are you goin'?" Barry looked me over.

"On a date." I answered.

"With Bruce Wayne?" He interrogated.

"No. An old friend." I walked out the door.

I rode my bike to the front of Wayne Enterprises and spotted Marty.

"Hey Marty." I greeted.

"Hi Harley." He smiled.

"So where're we goin'?" I asked.

"The Iceburg Lounge. It was the only good place I could get. You okay with that?" He checked.

"Yeah. It won't bother me if we see penguin." I agreed.

We walked to the Iceburg Lounge and waited in line to get in.

"Marty Slacker." Marty told the bouncer.

"Yeah, you're on the list. But Mr. Cobblepot told me not to let you in." The bouncer said.

"Can I talk to Mistuh Cobblepot?" I asked.

"You can try." The bouncer snorted.

Penguin was standing in front of us five minutes later.

"What don't ya understand about no?" He rolled his eyes.

"The fact that he even reserved this place, and you still won't let him in." I growled.

"'Ello Harley. What do you want?" He sneered.

"If you don't let us in, I'm gonna tell Mistuh J. He may not care that ya bothered me, but he'll look for any excuse to get in a fight with ya." I threatened.

He seemed to ponder it for a moment. "Fine."

The bouncer then let us in and we sat at a table.

"Seems a bit over-the-top to have the huge iceburg theme, doesn't it?" I commented.

"Yeah, just a little." Marty agreed.

"So, why did ya ask me on a date in the first place?" I got to the point.

"I like you. I've always thought you were pretty, and it seems like you've changed for the better recently." He said nervously. "I want to see where my attraction goes."

"Okay then. We'll se where the attraction goes." I agreed.

We ordered food and talked as we ate. He was more interesting than I remembered. Apparently he found me interesting too, because he asked a lot of questions. We ended up walking back to where my bike was parked at Wayne Enterprises.

"Well, I'll see you later Harley." Marty smiled.

"Yeah, I'll see ya Marty." I agreed.

He leaned in a little and kissed me. It kasted for more than a minute and involved tongue. So instead of going home, I went home with him.

**(A/N: In case you're wondering, I used Marty Slacker from the animated series, _The Batman_.)**


	8. Disaster

**Chapter 8: Disaster**

**Harley's POV**

I woke up next to Marty. I'm not ashamed to admit that we weren't fully clothed. Sleeping next to a man that I knew wasn't going to hit me was a different feeling. He woke up not long after me and stared at me for a moment.

"Hi." He finally said.

"Hi." I replied.

He leaned over and kissed me. "So... I guess our attraction led somewhere."

"Yep." I agreed.

We eventually broke through the awkwardness as we got dressed. We both headed to work, him in his car, me on my bike. I went inside and saw the kids with the receptionist again.

"Your dad bring you to work again?" I sighed.

The kids nodded their heads yes.

"Stay here." I muttered as I stormed towards the studio.

I opened the door to the recording booth to see Barry on the floor with a half empty bottle of vodka, and the sound effects guy was about the same.

"Hey Huuurley. Howyadoin'?" Barry slurred.

"Seriously? Now you're bringing the kids to work, leaving them with the receptionist, AND getting drunk? What's wrong with you?!" I shouted.

"See, I told ya she was annoyin'." Barry burped.

I walked over to him and kicked him. "WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?!"

"Isn't it wrong to kick someone when their down?" Barry said.

"Isn't it wrong to be a deadbeat drunk?!" I yelled.

"You know, she and my dad are both criminals. My dad cheats old women out of their money, and she follows her abusive boyfriend as he tortures, beats, and kills people. I guess the apple don't fall far from the tree." Barry snorted.

Before I could scream at him, I heard a noise outside. I ran out to see what it was. Mistuh J was threatening people and sending his thugs out to God knows where.

"If no one can give me information on the whereabouts of Harley Quinn, I'm going to kill the Cat." Mistuh J had his gun pointed at Selina.

Everyone was quiet.

"She's right here." Barry drunkenly staggered towards me.

Mistuh J turned and smiled broadly. "Harley, there you are! Come here."

I slowly walked towards him.

"Don't do it Harley!" Selina begged.

Mistuh J poked his gun against her harder. I stood right in front of him now.

He hit me with the gun before pointing it back at Selina. "You prevent me from killing your family, you let them drag me away, you prevent me from finding you by using Zatanna, you're possibly in bed with Bruce Wayne, and you're definitely in bed with Marty! You are a traitor!"

He was more serious than I'd ever seen him. He looked extremely angry. Just like the time he threw me out the window for improving his piranha plan.

"Why so serious? Let's put a smile on that face." I used one of his lines against him.

He looked dumbfounded. "Do you want me to kill your boyfriends?"

"I'm not dating Bruce. Where's Marty?" I growled.

"You'll have to figure it out." Mistuh J grinned.

"What are you? The Rddler?" I countered.

"That's an insult!" He shouted.

Batman was suddenly behind Mistuh J. He quietly snuck behind him and grabbed him, as well as the gun. Selina ran to another part of the room as Batman threw the gun. Mistuh J and Batman got in an ensuing fight. Batman won.

Batman had his foot on Mistuh J's throat. "Where is Marty Slacker?"

"How did you know I was talking about Slacker?" Mistuh J choked out.

"There aren't many Martys that Harley's inclined to date. Now where is he?" Batman grunted.

"It's supposed to be a guessing game Bats!" Mistuh J insisted.

"Tell me, or I'll crush your windpipe and you'll never laugh again." Batman threatened.

"Fine. He's being held hostage by Gaggy just outside." Mistuh J admitted.

Batman knocked Mistuh J out, then he abd I ran outside to find Gaggy pointing a knofe at Marty.

"Yo Gaggy!" I screamed.

"I'm hoing to kill your new boyfriend, Quinn." Gaggy laughed.

Just as he was about to plunge the knife in, a Reverse Batarang hit him in the head. He was out cold.

"Marty!" I ran to him.

He hugged me. "Are you okay?"

"Fine." I insisted

"You sure about that?" A familiar voice asked.

My pop was holding Ma hostage with a knife.

"What the hell are you doin'?! You're a con artist, not a thug!" I screeched.

"And you're point is? You're ex-boyfriend was nice enough to get me outta prison, so I'm returnin' the favor." Pop smiled.

All the anger I'd been bottling up inside me just came uncorked.

"DO YOU KNOW WHY I BECAME A THERAPIST?! I DID IT SO I COULD UNDERSTAND WHAT WAS WRONG WITH THIS FAMILY! BUT EVEN AFTER BECOMING A CRIMINAL, I STILL CAN'T FIGURE IT OUT! YOU'RE A SELFCENTERED BASTARD, MA FORGIVES EVERYONE BUT ME, AND BARRY'S A DEADBEAT DRUNK! THE ONLY IMPROVEMENT I'VE SEEN OUTTA ANY OF YA IS THAT BARRY HAS THE KIDS LIVIN' WITH HIM AND GOT A JOB! BUT HE'S STILL A DEADBEAT DAD! AND IF YOU PEOPLE'S CRAZINESS HADN'T INSPIRED ME TO BE A THERAPIST, I WOULDN'T BE A CRIMINAL WITH AN ABUSIVE EX-BOYFRIEND! SO IF YOU THINK I'M SCREWED UP, TAKE A LOOK AT YOURSELVES!" I ranted. "I EVEN DROPPED MY ACCENT WHEN I WAS A THERAPIST, BUT IT CREPT BACK UP ON ME AS A CRIMINAL. YOU WILL NEVER CALL ME HARLEEN QUINZEL AGAIN! I AM HARLEY QUINN!"

I couldn't take it anymore. I ran to my bike, slammed my hammer on the ground so hard that Pop fell over and Batman knocked him out, and I rode off to get away from the insanity that is my life.


	9. Aftermath

**Chapter 9: Aftermath**

**Harley's POV**

I woke up on Ivy's couch the next day.

"What am I doing here?" I yawned.

"You don't remember showing up on my doorstep and then passing out?" Ivy handed me some orange juice.

"No." I took it and drank it.

"You must've been pretty upset then, if you were stressed enough to pass out. I saw you on the news having a breakdown where you explained what you believed to be the origin of your problems." Ivy hugged me.

"I hate my life, Red." I sighed.

"Everyone gets to that point. Especially criminals. You'll be fine." Ivy promised.

"And the Joker probably ruined the only goid relationship I ever had." I sniffled.

Ivy's eyes widened. "Two things. Did you just say Joker instead of Mistuh J? And did you just say you had a good relationship?"

"I told you about Marty." I rolled my eyes.

"But it was just a date, right?" She looked confused.

"I was gonna tell you yesterday after work, I went home with him." I remembered.

"You slept with him? On the first date?" She inquired.

"Well when you say it like that..." I started.

Ivy suddenly hugged me. "I'm proud of you Harley. Not for sleeping with someone on the first date, but for finding someone else. And you called him Joker instead of Mistuh J."

"I guess I did call the Joker that. And I like Marty." I admitted.

"You've made major progress, and it's been less than a week since you got out of Arkham. This would normally take years. You should be proud of yourself." Ivy smiled.

"Yeah. I guess I should." I smiled.

"I don't know about your parents and brother, but your niece and nephew are worth keeing around. You should hear the way you talk about them. And your job and Marty are worth it too. You've seemed more happy and less crazy lately, so you ahould keep them all around. I like it better when you're happy instead of crazy." Ivy said.

"Maybe you're right. But I don't get to see Jenny and Nicky without having to see Barry. Besides, Gordon probably assumes that I'm dangerous again after yesterday." I sighed.

"Show him that you're not. And either way, you need to get Bud and Lou back." Ivy stated.

"Okay. But I wish you could come with me Red." I half smiled.

"Then I will. Batman and Gordon can go screw themselves. And based on the fact that he gave you a job and dates Selina, I don't think Bruce Wayne will mind." Ivy smiled. "But I find it odd that Selina is dating Batman and Bruce."

If only she knew they were the same person.

"Okay." I hugged her.

She followed me as I rode back to Wayne Enterprises. My face was still plastered on the billboard and on the posters, but now there were pictures of me in the other outfits wih Bud and Lou. It looked like Robinson Park was the background.

"I like that background." Ivy complimented.

We walked inside and I found Bruce Wayne talking to Marty.

"She obviously wasn't mad at you. Otherwise she would've yelled at you too." Bruce insisted.

"But she just took off." Marty sighed.

We also saw Selina glaring at Barry.

"She's right. You act like a deadbeat dad, and you got so drunk that you put her life in danger when the Joker showed up. You should be ashamed of yourself." Selina looked angry.

"I was stupid." Barry hung his head in shame.

Bud and Lou were at his feet, growling visciously.

"Bud, Lou, stop growling." I said sternly.

They immediately complied and walked over to me.

"Harley!" Marty hugged me.

"Good to have you back." Bruce smiled. "Paul and Bruce will be happy too."

"Hi Harley. Ivy." Selima nodded to us.

Bruce stared at Ivy wearily.

"You aren't going to arrest her, are you?" I hoped not.

"Not today. You need her." He smirked. "You need friends. You've always had friends though. If you would've asked, I would've helped you get away from the Joker and kicked his ass. I always felt bad for you, but I never hated you. Except for maybe during the split second that you hung me over the piranha tank."

"Did you just show your sense of humor, Mr. Wayne?" I giggled.

"Mister instead of Mistuh?" He grinned.

"How would you have kicked Joker's ass? And how would you arrest me? And when did Harley hang you over a tank of piranhas? She did do that to Batman once..." Ivy trailed off.

"I have my ways. And some things are better left unknown." Bruce walked over to Selina.

"Is Bruce Wayne Batman?" Ivy's eyes widened.

"That's crazy talk Red. I did the piranha thing once to Bats, and then once to Bruce." I lied. "Besides, I know who Batman is, and he's the furthest person from Bruce Wayne."

"Who is he then? And how do you know him?" Ivy interrogated.

"Sone secrets are best kept. Even from best friends. No offense, because I'd tell you anything else Red." I smiled.

"But Bruce is rich enough to pull it off, has the right build, and said he would've kicked Joker's ass. And then there's the fact that Selina is with Batman and Bruce..." Ivy reasoned.

"It's not him. How would some sissy rich boy know how to fight like that anyways? No offense to him." I waved it off.

"I guess you're right." She sighed.

"Mom!" I heard two familiar voices.

I turned to see Jenny and Nicky as they ambushed me with hugs.

"Did you just call me 'Mom'?" I turned pale.

"Oops. I meant Aunt Harley." Jenny giggled.

"What she said." Nicky agreed.

It didn't bother me. It actually made me feel... happy.

"Call me whatever you want." I said.

They smiled and hugged me.

"You'd be a great mom. Better than me as a dad." Barry walked over.

"Just try harder, and you'd be fine." I stated.

"Did you really become a therapist just so you could figure out our family?" Barry asked.

"It was a big inspiration." I admitted.

"Pop's back in prison. I have a feeling he'll be there for a while." Barry made conversation.

I hugged Barry. "You only need to apologize, then this won't be so awkward."

"I'm sorry." He hugged me back.

"Hey Marty, you wanna go to the Ocelot tonight? I think I could arrange payment with the boss." I offered.

"Consider it to be on me." Bruce smiled.

"Sure." Marty agreed.

"I have a proposal for you two." Selina walked up to me and Ivy.

"What?" Ivy and I asked.

"How about we reband together as the Gotham City Sirens?" Selina offered. "For non-criminal purposes, of course."

Selina looked at Bruce during the last part.

"I wouldn't be opposed." I shrugged.

Ivy pondered the idea for a moment. "Fine. But I want you to listen to something first."

Ivy got on a computer and pulled up the video called _Bat Romance_ by the _Gotham Sirens._ The look on Selina's face was priceless. She looked shocked, then disgusted, then he laughed her ass off. Bruce even twitched a smirk and supressed a chuckle.

"This is what I get for having so many girlfriends, isn't it?" He whispered.

"Basically." I grinned smugly.

Then I went home and found Ma sitting on the couch, watching the news.

"There is still no sign of Harley Quinn since her breakdown yesterday. I knew she was nuts." Jack Ryder muttered the last part.

"Actually, she was just at Wayne Enterprises, and according to our sources, things look like they're in the clear for her once again." Vicki Vale reported.

Vicki pinched Jack's arm before the news went to the sports segment.

"Vicki's right. I'm fine." I announced my presence.

Ma turned and got up to hug me. "I'm sorry. You were right yesterday."

"It's okay. I still love you guys." I sniffled.

**(A/N: The Ocelot is one of Bruce Wayne's restaurants in the _Dark Night_ movies.)**


	10. The End

**Chapter 10: The End**

**Harley's POV**

"Hurry, get the electric wires!" Selina screamed.

"I'm hurrying!" Ivy shouted.

"I'll hold him off with my bag of tricks!" I yelled.

I threw some exploding Joker teeth at Boneblaster, and Selina jumped off of his shoulders. He was momentarily confused by all the small explosions. Ivy used her plants to bring down some electrical wires so we could power down his gloves.

"Do you really think that will work again?!" Boneblaster bellowed.

He ran towards Ivy. So I threw some old Joker Gas at him. He was confused and started coughing before he began cackling hysterically. Ivy sent the electrical wires straight for his gloves. They immediately powered down, and we kicked his ass until he was unconscious. Then I stuck him in the leg with a needle.

"What's that for?" Selina asked breathlessly.

"It's a cure for the Joker Gas." I panted.

"Good. We wouldn't want to kill him." Ivy breathed.

"You know, you make it really hard to arrest you when you do all these good deeds." Batman swooped in.

"Then maybe I'll just avoid prison by doing good deeds." Ivy smirked.

"You wouldn't want to break up the Sirens, would you?" Selina teased.

"Yeah, and give me reason to be bad again." I played along.

"Hey guys, _Tall dark and handsome_..." Selina started.

"Don't sing it!" Ivy and I exclaimed.

"But _Bat Love_ is so damned funny. And we're rarely ever all together like this. Unless there's some kind of apocalyptic disaster, or we're being arrested." Selina smirked.

We all laughed.

"Hello Detective! I've come up with another plan to cleanse Gotham!" Ra's Al Ghul announced.

He was riding Man-Bat and sending mechanical guardians all over Gotham.

"I am sorry Beloved, but I must side with my father." Talia was leading some assassins into the city.

"Can I kill her now?" Selina revealed her metalic claws.

"No, but you have my permission to knock her out." Batman said.

"Close enough." Selina smirked evilly.

"We might as well." Ivy shrugged as she headed into battle.

"Right behind ya Red!" I followed her.

The GCPD showed up to help. Bud and Lou were at my sides. Marty was controlling a giant robot. You could tell because his face was on a giant screen and it was designed to look like Captain Slash. My new life was _so_ much more fun than my old one.

**(A/N: Thanks for reading.)**


End file.
